When the world is flying by...

 It's been more than a year since the pandemic has grounded us. Things moved so slowly initially. Unable to travel/go out, stuck at home. There are days where I don't know which day it was. Everything felt like a drag. 

Things are better now. Adapting to a new norm. Time seems to quicken up its pace once more.

*Blink* one hour has gone *blink* one day has gone *blink* one week has gone *blink* one month has gone.

Life is passing by so so quickly. Why?

Is it how the internet connects us to information so fast that our brain is flooded without a chance for a breather? Is time really moving faster? Is it because we fill our minds with so many things at the same time? Did we truly achieve more by moving so fast?

I went back to school. Studying a topic that I keep finding myself going back to, Psychology. Now I find myself spending every available moment studying. It's only been 1.5months and I am trying really hard to balance family, love, self, work, school, and friends. Gone are the weekends where I can set aside hours to feed my soul. 

Glad that I'm managing the stress quite well. Being conscious the moment I'm stressing over if my best is not gonna make it,  or when I try to compare myself with others, FOMO...etc etc. Nip it at the bud before it can manifest. I want to love everything. Not let stress or pressure kills it. Big picture.

Not gonna give meaning to past struggles, nor gonna sugarcoat the future for motivation. 

The art of non-striving. How does one aim for excellence without striving? 

One thing at a time. Just show up and do your best.

Be it good, be it bad, come what may.

Acceptance of reality, of self, of now,

is bigger than anything in this world.

Memories

 What are memories?

Things we remember in general. Short term, long term. Information of things, places, names, faces, skills, feelings, etc.

How accurate is it?

Not very. tons of variables influence it.

If you have a tumor or damage to the brain, you may forget the past or be unable to make any new ones.

Your mood, experiences, and environment also affect your memories of an event due to individual perceptions. 

I have personally had zero recollection of certain events in my life until someone told me about it or I saw a photograph and decided to make a connection with it. And suddenly, memories I never had are fresh like they just happened yesterday. Did I choose what to believe and what to remember? I believe so (haha this answer is exactly proof). 

In a sense, our brain is so powerful (and malleable) that you can actually put anything you want into it. Of course, there is also priming (ads and commercials), but such tactics don't work unless you already have an emotional connection with it. Just like seeing coke flashing across my subconscious a thousand times is not gonna make me buy coke if I hate it. I would probably unconsciously feel irritated instead). But, with that said, we do associate things unconsciously too. E.g. if you keep seeing happy people drinking coke, you may start to associate coke with happiness. 

Back to memory, it's not real. It just isn't. It is just a bunch of snapshots of your own creativity and perspective. If you change your perception, your feelings towards certain memories will shift and what you choose to remember will eventually change too. 

What then is unchangeable and real? 

This very moment, unadulterated with any perception, Now.

What is real? A look into perception

 “In this treacherous world
Nothing is the truth nor a lie.
Everything depends on the color
Of the crystal through which one sees it”

                - Pedro Calderón de la Barca 

"Form is emptiness, emptiness is form"
                - Heart Sutra

"I think, therefore I am"
                - René Descartes 

Above are wisdom-loaded quotes from 15th-century Spanish playwright, Buddhism, and French Philosopher on perception respectively.

And it's not a perception of theirs. With science advancement, this can actually be proven. That what was captured through our senses is interpreted by our brain to form percepts. Percepts vary from one person to another as it is molded by our environment, genetics, culture, both nature, and nurture.

Why do we give subjective meaning to things? We can't we just accept things as sensory inputs with no filters?

Example of perception: 

- When we see a car becoming bigger and bigger, we don't perceive it as the car is enlarging but it is getting closer and closer to us. 

- Why two dots and a curved line when place in a certain position is a smiley face and not just some random scribble.

- How we just know the hand sticking out a window is attached to a body.

- How in a landscape painting, you know that the darker tone shape is supposed to be further away than the lighter tone shape, and both probably depict a mountain. 

Key in optical illusion in Google search and get ready to be bamboozled.

Well, perception does help us survive. 

- How our taste buds and nose detecting food that turns bad

- depth perception so you don't jump off a cliff

- pain on the body that signals that something is wrong, and 

- determining whether that beeping sound you hear is a message or the fire alarm.

Thus perceptions are useful interpretations made by our brains, trying to make sense of all the signals that are incoming, and translate them into something that is logical, explainable, and plausible.

However, translations are just translations. How chemicals in our brains move, how neurons are wired and fired, how our past experiences mean to us all contribute to how we translate, how we perceive. But by no means it's reality. It's just your version of reality. Your brain tells you what you saw, heard, smelled, felt, and tasted. 

So what is real? 

If everything is just perception, then is nothing real?

Exactly. Nothing is real.

Everything has no meaning until we gave it meaning.

While we are unable to overcome perceptions embedded so deeply into our biology, we can still choose to react rather than respond.

Let those perceptions that help us in our daily life, continue to help us.

As for those depreciating, soul-sucking, insufferable and undeserving ones:

- try viewing them without any filter or

- view them with skepticism, from afar, be critical

After all, perceptions are just attached meanings. 

Be aware, let it go. 

Nothing is real.

Hell Yeah!

I first heard of this term from the creator of Be More with Less Courtney Carver. 

If your soul is not saying "Hell Yeah!" about something, then say no. 

Using this to draw boundaries was very helpful. It makes me aware of the times that I'm trying to be nice to get people to like me. (Even if they did in the end, it is a fake me. What's the point).

I truly started practicing it when I did the Artist's Way.

Part of the non-negotiable activity in this 12-weeks journey includes a weekly date with yourself.

This date has to be by your ownself, doing something you want to do but have been saying 'no' due to people's judgment, own judgment, self-talk, etc.

As the over-achiever that I am, I always wanna do things 'right'.

Since I'm gonna date myself, I may as well do a "Hell Yeah!" activity and bring the point home.

So what exactly is Hell Yeah!? Well, I define it as something (can be a movie / an activity) that makes my heart soar and my soul feel free. Free of judgement and restriction. It can't have any purpose too. Once there is a purpose / meaning to it, it gets all bogged down by the Ego trying to 'perfect' it. 

Or trying to kill two stones with one bird, like "since you want to cycle, why don't you cycle to work?" Then the focus on getting there on time kills the journey. Thus the irony is for the purpose to NOT have any purpose. 

Anyway.

One would think that it is easy to know what one wants. Pfft.

After years of conditioning to be 'sociable', 'normal', 'efficient' and 'not stupid', it's hard for me.

First few dates was, well, easy. Just clearing my bucket list.

Then old patterns seep in... things started to be 'pointless' and 'stupid'..

"Are you crazy? Wearing a furry suit and walk around in this weather?"

"Dancing in the public?? Pftt"

"Cycling on the empty street at 4am? Don't you need to sleep?"

"Singing in the rain?? You think you in a broadway show??"

Takes a lot of introspection to be aware that the only person negging me and holding me back is my brain.

Maybe it is trying to protect me, maybe it is trying to justify it's existence as usual, but it restrict the soul nonetheless.

When the soul gets bound up, like a bird in a cage, no amount of sleep and rest and me time is gonna fix it. External stimuli are temporary fixes and Im way pass that.

And it's not like I didnt try to take a short cut. I did. Trying to get a friend along / trying to use the activity as a way to get attention / to get approval. Nope, doesnt work.

End of the day, it is myself I need to get along with, my soul that needs my attention and my approval I need.

Thus, while it is all fun and hell yeah, I do need to seriously carve out time to listen and plan it it ABOVE everything else. 

When Im feeling hell yeah inside, the outside doesnt matter anymore. Although, it is always observed that outer hell yeah will 100% be a side effect of an inner hell yeah. Things fall in place in synchronicity. 

Aint that the sweetest? 

Hell Yeah!